Why I love the Satanic Bible: This person contacted me, telling me that the Satanic Bible was better than the real Bible, but that doesn’t say a lot, considering a lot of us think ‘Harry Potter’ is better than the Bible. Considering more of us go to see the movies ‘Harry Potter’ than the movies based on the actual Bible… and you know ‘Harry Potter’ is honest about being fiction. But before we check out the Satanic Bible, let’s check out the comments on my video called: ‘Why I Love Lucifer’. Nineteen-thousand likes, three-thousand dislikes… I don’t know, I’ve seen Christians have a worse ratio. This person says: ‘Worship who you want people’, I didn’t think we were gonna start off with a non-shitty comment, but awesome. This person says Heaven sounds “too good to be true”, wait, what part of Heaven sounds “too good to be true”? God kicked Lucifer out of Heaven and plans to “burn him alive” because of the disagreements they had, so what happens if you go to Heaven and disagree with God? Or does he strip of your free will once you’re there? Someone said I “look Lucifer, in a a good way”. Yeah, unfortunately I’m not Lucifer, cause if I was… I would use my fairy dust to make my acne disappear. This person says: “God still loves you bro no matter how dumb your statements are towards him”. Yeah, allegedly he still loves Lucifer too but he plans to “burn him alive”. And what about all his children he committed mass genocide against during the whole “Noah’s Ark” thing? Yeah, if that’s love, I’ll go and pass. I don’t want God to love me. Clearly his love can equate to me being drowned with most of the rest of the human species. In the actual Bible, it tells you to love your enemies, and in the Satanic Bible, it said: why should I not hate my enemies? If I love them, does that not put me in at their mercy? But to counter that point, Obviously God doesn’t know what love is because he has repeatedly killed the people that he says he loves. So, you know, he’s a little bit psycho. Sidenote: can you believe people actually think this shit happened? How fucking stupid do you have to be, to think all the animals were packed onto one boat, and the whole world was just magically flooded? Like, come on dude! God was doing miracles on a regular basis back then but not now? How come Noah gets the benefit of eternal life, thanks to him literally seeing the miracles happen before him and the rest of us just have to go in the fucking dark? Like if I was getting visions from God, than I would fucking believe in him! But I’m not getting the visions like Noah, so Noah gets eternal life because he had actual proof that God existed? The fuck is this!? The Satanic Bible saying Satan has been the best friend of the church, and has kept it in business for all these years. I mean, what would a ‘Superman’ movie be without a villain, right? Just a really long porno of Superman fucking bitches? I’d watch that. Sidenote: when are we as a society going to let go of our sexual restrictions, a lot of it inspired by religion, and actually make a Blockbuster sex film? Like, can you imagine? Superman in 3D, 4K, grabbing Lois, ripping off her clothes, flying her up in the air, grabbing her by the leg and just fucking the shit out of her. That would be amazing, and yet we don’t let shit like that happen, because we as a society are so sexually conservative. The Satanic Bible has a funny as fuck quote. They’re basically saying good and bad, a lot of it depends on who you ask. They use an example of missionaries talking to eskimos about how horrible Hell is because there was fire everywhere, and the eskimos were like: “Hey, how do we get there?” (chuckles) Here the Satanic Bible is talking about what I’ve already talked to you guys about, which is hypocrisy in the church. I personally encountered more immoral people in church when I was a kid than when I experienced out. and that’s cause Christians have this thing called forgiveness. The Bible literally makes it clear that you can do some of the most horrible shit so long as you “give yourself to God”, ask for forgiveness and you can still fucking go to Heaven? Let’s hope to literal God that Hitler didn’t pray for forgiveness right before he fucking died, because yes, Hitler was a Christian. I mean, shit. Here’s Matthew 6:14-15 saying all you have to do to get forgiven for all your sins is forgive everyone else for all their sins. Here it says all we have to do is confess our sins and we’ll be forgiven. Fuck. Acts 3:19, it’s telling you to repent and all your sins will be wiped out. It doesn’t say: “Hey rapists, you’re excluded because you’re terrible human beings and you shouldn’t go to Heaven.” It doesn’t say: “Hey child molesters, you went too far, you’re not going to Heaven.” What it says is shit like this: (mockingly) “Yay, bye sins!” The Bible’s sending a pretty loud and clear message: rape, molest, murder, etc. while the Bible doesn’t always agree with those acts, it clearly states you will be forgiven for them. And that is unacceptable. Another logical statement by the Satanic Bible, apparently the Bible teaches you to turn the other cheek, whereas the Satanic Bible says: “Hey, if someone tries to fuck with you: you fuck with them back.” Or in other words: defend yourself. Based on where the Bible tells you to not fight back, and the Satanic Bible tells you to defend yourself; I think I’m gonna go with the Satanic Bible with on this one. Regardless, there are plenty of other logical Satanic Bible quotes. There are also plenty of logical Bible quotes. The Bible is a very big book. But for as much as I know about the Satanic Bible and the actual Bible, I’m gonna go with the Satanic Bible on this one, because at least the Satanic Bible isn’t pretending to be something it’s not. The Satanic Bible doesn’t say it loves you and then drowns you., it appears to be what it says it is. And I’d rather hang out with someone who is honest about being a dick than hang out with someone who’s also a dick but lies to you about it on top of that. Enough said for now.